Posts tagged “Chronic Illness”

Being chronically ill doesn’t make me a better person, but it does help me identify jerks

I assume people think surviving illness changes you because there’s something inherently character-building about pain. But what happened wasn’t a struggle, in the sense that through perseverance I overcame something difficult. For a fairly brief but unexpected period of my life, I lost my capacity to work, to advocate for myself, to navigate life and […]

Energy meter

I found this in my drafts folder from a few years ago. Yesterday I made (simplified and adapted-to-my-dietary-restrictions) curry, soup, and shepherd’s pie. I also walked someone to the bus stop. That is all I did. Today I can’t get out of bed. Things are better now. But mostly because I’m usually not so foolish […]

My greatest fear is a fantasy

I started doing really well earlier this summer and had several weeks where I was able to do at least some work every single day. Then an environmental trigger I have no control over happened and I got stuck in bed again for more than 2 weeks. I’m slowly, slowly coming out of this cycle […]

This is the drug that works

I get the aura, I take the pill, I lie down. The pain starts, increases, becomes everything. Two hours later it has quieted to a throb that consumes most, but not all, of my attention. The ice pack doesn’t help, but it’s comforting. This is the drug that works. It feels like there’s a knife […]

Tension

It’s a challenge to mindfully walk that middle path between being proactive about your health – always trying to improve it – but at the same time, accepting the way you are so that you can make the best of each day. From Toni Bernhard’s How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness

Is this how I learned stillness?

Illness is the space where I came to understand the limitations of my being. It’s a lesson we all learn but one I learned harshly and twice, first watching my mother and then enduring my own suffering. Now I know that I can lie down for hours without moving. I can meditate. I can stare […]