Gravity's Rainbow

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Plans and headaches – self pity edition


From Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn’t Go Away by Jennette Fulda:

One Friday I was driving home from work, thinking about my headache as I always did, when I passed a theater marquee that said the band Stars was playing that night. I smiled quickly at the the thought of one of my favorite bands and then consciously relaxed my face. Smiling hurt. So did laughing. I frequently pretended that my forehead had been Botoxed so I wouldn’t flex the facial muscles that aggravated my headache.

I wanted to park my car on the street and buy a ticket to the concert, but I drove home to my apartment instead. The theater would be filled with cigarette smoke, which would make my head hurt even more. The headache was a chaperone preventing me from going out. There was no world outside the headache. There were no concerts or parties. My world was limited to the cubic dimensions of my skull.

I collapsed on my love seat and turned on the TV. I watched the local news, hoping to hear about someone whose life was worse than mine. The worst they could deliver were people upset about their property taxes.

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