A few years ago, I applied for and received a really prestigious fellowship. I had to turn it down because they don’t let you take it out of the country (GRRR). But I didn’t give up. I took that application, made it even better, and applied for a similar fellowship in my new country. I didn’t get it, but I was very, very close. This year, I improved the application even further and added all the cool new things I’ve done in the last year.
My application didn’t even make it through the first round of selection.
After the initial round of boo-hooing, I had two thoughts
- funding in academia is a fucking crapshoot and
- I am so glad that my sense of self worth is not defined by my academic accomplishments
On the plus side, all that work applying for the fellowship wasn’t in vain. With just a bit of tweaking, the research proposal part of the application will be perfect for my first committee meeting!