Earlier this year I spent a week at a workshop at the boots, mud, and resource extraction applied end of my field. It was pretty different from what I’m used to culturally. The mealtime conversations were considerably less intellectual than I’m used to in my professional life, often revolving around relationships. People talked about wedding planning, fighting with their significant others, cheating. Their expectations for their relationships and the roles they played in those relationships were so different from my own and so narrow. There are so few ways to be satisfied or happy in their framework, and people work very, very hard and sacrifice so much of their identities to fit their round selves into tiny square holes.

At first I was annoyed by the conversations and felt a little excluded. But by the end of the workshop, I was just grateful that I have so much more and am not confined to such boring, stifling, claustrophobic relationships. I feel like being queer has made it easier to leave the terrifically dull and false boy-meets girl narrative behind.